Minding Ps and Qs
Good manners cost nothing, but are priceless
One of the lovely things about many wedding preparations is the desire by many brides to return to traditional etiquette.
While many might consider some social graces to be absurdly quaint, the fact of the matter is customs such as sending an RSVP and thank you cards means so much more than simply spending money on a piece of card and postage. Good manners acknowledges other people.
It shows that you respect and value the other person.
How awful it is to have your hospitality taken advantage of by someone who won’t make their intentions known with respect to planning your wedding. Equally poor form is the bride who does not acknowledge the time her guests have spent selecting a gift to mark her special day.
The rules of etiquette are designed to ensure that everyone could go about their business knowing they were not causing unintentional offense.
I am bemused to read the excuses many people make for not observing society niceties, yet the very same people yearn for the same consideration to be shown themselves.
It would be lovely to see an emphasis placed on good manners again, whether it be teaching young children to say please and thank you, to teen boys holding open doors and having young ladies acknowledge the courtesy.
If you are considering a return to good form, I would encourage you to make it a lifetime habit. From the book Traditional Weddings by Denise Greig:
A thoughtful, prompt note of thanks should be written for each wedding gift received. If possible, thank you notes should be sent before you set off on your honeymoon. Gifts that arrive near or after the wedding day should be acknowledged within a month after your honeymoon. Writing thank yous as soon as you receive the gifts make it easier for the wording to be enthusiastic and spontaneous. It will also help keep the task manageable.
Either use a notebook or set up a computer spreadsheet to make a note of gifts received.
I particularly like the idea of the spreadsheet because it can also be used to keep the list of invitees, RSVPs as well as assist with seating arrangements.
However, thank you notes should never be type written. Handwritten notes should thanks the sender for the named gift – even gifts you intend to return – and always include a personal message.
